


A System of Behaviour

by kirakiracats



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Implied Past Abuse, Implied Past Relationships, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 11:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3409289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirakiracats/pseuds/kirakiracats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's time for Levi to stop avoiding his problems. He has to face the music, and listen to it play out to the (hopefully happy) end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A System of Behaviour

**Author's Note:**

> Have you ever just had an idea and said to yourself "I shouldn't, but then again no one can stop me"?
> 
> This just happened to me. Enjoy~

 

They aren’t strangers to love, although after everything, Levi thinks that it would be better if he stayed away from it. Eren doesn’t know what love is, he can’t explain it to people if asked, but he does know what it feels like. He loves his family, he loves his friends, he loves his job; all these things are important to him, warm him up from the inside out. Levi can see that, because Eren is easy to read. If Eren got a pet, Levi is sure that he’d love them too. He just isn’t sure that Eren understands _romantic_ love. The kind of love that Levi craves but…

 

He knows that there are rules. Although they aren’t written clearly in any book, they can sometimes be written all over faces. “ _I love you but don’t talk to anyone else_ ” or “ _I love you but I wish you wouldn’t wake up at six in the morning just to clean_ ” or “ _I love you but only while you’re on your knees for me_.” None of those people, those faces that Levi had read, none of them had committed to him. And commitment is all he can think of. Whatever he has to give, whatever he _can_ give, parts of himself, things that you couldn’t get from anyone else, he wants to give it.

 

“Levi. Listen to me.” A pause. Levi keeps his eyes trained on the path in front of him, more comfortable with looking at the gum stuck there than he is with looking into Eren's eyes. “I just want to tell you how I’m feeling. Levi…” Another pause. “Levi, you can’t even look at me?!” Levi flinches and turns his head to Eren. The young man has his whole body turned towards him, one hand leaning on the bench in the space between them and his expression so utterly beseeching that Levi starts mentally preparing himself for heartbreak. He thinks he’s going to need more than bandages this time, maybe something more along the lines of scotch tape, or maybe he’ll just have to fortify the walls around his heart with more concrete and steel beams.

 

Why have those big green eyes always been able to cut right through him at moments like this?

 

“I just wanna make you understand, Levi.” God, he hates it when Eren's voice sounds like that. So close to cracking even though he’s nearly twenty-four, past the awkward stages of puberty and so handsome it hurts.

 

Levi swallows past the lump in his throat, his brows furrowing in what probably looks like anger or annoyance, but is actually just him trying to hold back his tears.

 

“Whatever those other people did to you, I swear I’m not like them,” Eren continues, visibly struggling with what he wants to say next. And even now Levi is caught up thinking how endearing it is when Eren trips over his words. At least he can trust Eren to be honest. He’s a terrible liar, or at least that’s what Levi has always believed. “Levi, I…”

 

Levi braces for it, the drop, the crushing pain of being left behind. Eren's eyes dart between his own, and at this point, looking away is useless. He watches as Eren bites his lower lip, chewing briefly and then licking away the redness. He watches those lips, oh so kissable but never been kissed, form the words that could make or break him.

 

“I’m never gonna give you up, Levi. I can’t.”

 

Levi stops breathing, all the air caught somewhere in his throat. Had he really heard that right? Had Eren said what he had needed to hear?

 

Eren must see that his words have had an effect on the stoic man in front of him, because something flashes in his eyes and he leans in even closer.

 

“And I’m never gonna let you down either, okay? All those things that those bastards did to you, running around behind your back and practically deserting you when you needed them most, making you cry – shit, I hated when you’d come to me after being with them and your eyes would be red, I hated them so much. But I stayed with you because I lo—”

 

Eren cuts himself off with a frown, and Levi can do nothing but blink at him, shocked. He hadn’t expected such emotion from Eren, or rather, he hadn’t expected such emotion to be because of him. Those times that Eren had mentioned, the times when Levi would have nowhere else to go, Levi had never felt any violence coming from his friend. Maybe he would be a little tense when he hugged him, and maybe there would be a furrow in his brow as he averted his eyes whenever Levi was in the room soon after, but never had he detected any of the rage he sees now. He can see the tendon in Eren's jaw tense as he grinds his teeth briefly.

 

Levi still hasn’t spoken in the time it takes Eren to calm himself slightly. Eren’s gaze is a little distant as he looks out into the park to his left. Levi keeps looking at him, at the curve of his ear peeking out from messy, brown hair, at the slope of his nose in profile, at the smooth, tan skin of his cheek.

 

“Remember what we said way back when we were thirteen, and you were moving house and school?” Levi nods slowly but Eren doesn’t see it. “I told you that I wasn’t going to say goodbye, because I’d definitely see you again.” Eren turns back to Levi, looking infinitely more mature than usual. “And I did.”

 

Eren smiles but it’s shaded with such sadness that Levi's eyes start to water worse than before. His cheeks stay dry, but only barely.

 

“But what you said to me is what I hope you haven’t forgotten. You said that I couldn’t lie to you whenever you called me and asked if I was lonely. I’ve never lied to you, by the way,” he adds with another crooked smile. “All I could think was, I should’ve been the one asking you that, y’know? I should’ve asked you if you were lonely. Because you were always strong and fearless around me, and it didn’t cross my mind that you were hiding anything from me. From your best friend.”

 

Levi thinks he finally knows what suffering feels like. Right here, right now, with tears threatening to fall. Those phone calls that they shared are etched into his mind. Their years of separation took their toll, but not nearly as badly as they could’ve done. Levi had been miserable, but he had found Eren again.

 

And now here they are.

 

“I should’ve protected you. I should’ve never let them hurt you, Levi. I’m sorry.”

 

That unnecessary apology does it. Levi sniffs loudly and brings his left hand up to wipe away the wetness dripping from his chin. Eren wordlessly hands him a tissue, which he takes and uses to dry his face before crumpling it in his fist in his lap.

 

“We’ve known each other for so long. Absolutely _ages_ , when you think about it.” Eren gives a humourless laugh, his breath misting in front of him for a moment before disappearing. “And only recently have you let me see you cry. Had you noticed?”

 

Levi had.

 

“You might not want me to say this, but you’ve lived through a lot of heartache, Levi, and most people don’t know you like I do but… you’re shy. Too shy to say things like that.” Levi grits his teeth at the truth of Eren's words, but relaxes as soon as he feels a soft touch on the side of his face. Eren cups his jaw in one warm hand, his fingertips gently stroking the short hair of his undercut behind his ear. And his expression—

 

It’s too fond. Too much for Levi. And yet, also somehow perfect.

 

Because it’s Eren.

 

Deep in those eyes, Levi can see that, inside, Eren has known what’s been going on. Probably for a long time, despite him not saying anything explicitly. And because he knows just how closed off Levi can be, he’s been playing along, like a game.

 

Levi feels more than terrible for making him such a reluctant player in his wreck of a life. Wreck of a love-life mostly, but other things too. The move, the distance, both physical and metaphorical, everything. And if Levi had ever been asked how he was feeling, which he had, he just knows that Eren wouldn’t have accepted being told he was too blind or oblivious to see it.

 

He’d seen it all. He is the only one that Levi would show that part of himself to.

 

Levi loves him.

 

“E-Eren.” His voice is thick, and a hiccup interrupts him quickly. Eren, the boy worth a thousand of anyone else in Levi's eyes, waits patiently while Levi composes himself, concern deepening the lines on his face.

 

His hand is still holding Levi's face, his thumb rubbing along his cheekbone now.

 

“You- you stole my line.”

 

Eren's face scrunches up in confusion. Levi loves him.

 

“I’m the one that could never give you up.”

 

Surprise makes Eren huff air through his nose, which then leads to a quiet chuckle, which then leads to Levi's favourite sound. His laugh. It may be muted, a little more strained than usual, but it’s there.

 

Levi puts his hand over Eren's, feels the heat of him on both his palm and his cheek. A few more tears slip out, but that doesn’t matter anymore. He’s not crying out of sadness this time. His chest feels lighter, free to expand.

 

He breathes Eren in, his scent familiar and comforting.

 

Levi _loves_ him.

 

“I love you,” he says simply, willing his voice to be strong. Whether Eren can love him back or not, he has to let it out. He has to put himself out there once more, with actual words this time.

 

Eren's laughter fades away into stunned silence, and Levi just stares at him, releasing the tension in his face and body. He closes his eyes and lets go of the tragedies plaguing his mind, one by one.

 

Failed relationships. Gone.

 

Abusive uncle. Gone.

 

Worries about the future. Gone.

 

Eren…

 

There’s something pressing against his forehead a second later. Levi blinks open his eyes only to immediately be caught by Eren's. He’s incredibly close, his breath fanning out along Levi's lips, and Levi's doing the same to him. Levi feels the tickle of the ends of Eren’s hair brushing his face, the tips of their noses touching. Most of all, he feels safe.

 

“I love you, too, Levi. I’ve been waiting for you.” Eren whispers it, just for Levi to hear, and Levi can’t answer because then his lips are pressed to the pair that had been hovering only an inch away. The kiss is so soft, so sweet, so _right_ , and Levi never wants it to end; the chaste, intimate connection between him and the one he loves. The one who loves him.

 

A mutual love. Levi feels whole, and then he feels Eren. Because Eren has healed him, made him back into his own person instead of the puzzle piece that people had been cutting him into over and over again.

 

Whatever had he done to deserve such a blessing? He doesn’t know. But he won’t give it back now. Eren is the wish on a star, the genie in the lamp, the one who can make Levi's dreams come true.

 

Or maybe not. They’ll figure it out. Levi isn’t worried anymore.

 

Because when they pull back from each other, flushed from the kiss and wrapped up in each other, the words that Levi reads loud and clear all over Eren's face are,

 

“ _I will love you, no matter what_.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so as you may have noticed, yes, I used Rick Astley's hit song 'Never Gonna Give You Up' as a basis for _this whole fic_. Sorry!! Please don't hate me, it was supposed to be funny, I don't know what happened. Ashley Tisdale's [cover](http://ifuckinglovedragons.tumblr.com/post/110695689769/have-you-ever-wanted-to-hear-sharpay-sing-never) was going around tumblr and so I listened to it... then I listened again... and then...
> 
> Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Let me know what you thought, maybe?
> 
> (Another confession: the title is from the definition of the word 'meme')


End file.
